my ethereal & spooky wife and I have been looking for a new home—can anyone recommend a realtor who works with haunted castles and operates on a nocturnal schedule? we need: • at least two towers with roosting space for about a dozen bats and a dozen crows, • garage or carport large enough to comfortably contain two hearses, • spacious two-floor room suitable for a vast and ancient Latin library, alchemical equipment & supplies, and able to house a sizeable basin or bathtub for filling with Holy Water (WINDOWS MUST FACE THE EAST!!), • adequate & sanitary facilities for on-site cold storage, embalming, and cremation in bulk quantities, • well-ventilated space on grounds for a smelter, anvil, tanning racks, and workbenches (think blacksmithery & ironworks), • proximity to dense, labyrinthine forest(s) that one could feasibly lose—or trap—someone or someTHING within, and • a secure, sanctified, pure silver-reinforced stable for creatures—i mean horses—made of six-dimensional solid shadow, and sufficient to withstand, say, 100,000 tons of supernatural force. (wood fireplaces, walk-in closets that can fit all our platform boots, balconies, and clawfoot bathtubs [for bathing in Holy Water] not necessary, but very appreciated.) please send word via messenger owl. 🦉 t.i.a.! 🦇 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • #itwasntaphase #demonia #demoniacult #platformboots #swing815 #swing327 #fishnets #egirl #mychemicalromance #MCRmy #its2005 #thighhighs #allblackeverything #greenhair #gothmemes #gothgf #alternativefashion #gothaesthetic #thighhighgangordie